Bring Me Back To Life
by Ingradera
Summary: Everyone's favourite demigod loses everything, and all that has happened to him is finally sinking in, as the gods are the only ones left to fight for his life, because everyone wants he dead, even himself. Rated M for suicidal thoughts, and then later for his relationship. SLASH Apollo/Percy
1. Leaving School

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Percy Jackson, because last time I checked, I wasn't Rick Riordan.**

**Warning: Dark, depressing, suicidal thoughts, slight slash at the moment, nightmares, and PTSD behaviour**

**Enjoy XD**

Percy

_The chanting started up behind me, quite at first, but gradually, the volume increased, and the ancient words echoed through the air. My blade flew through monster after monster, vaporising them on the spot, as I tried to protect Hecate's and Hypnos' children as they cast the spell to put Gaia back to sleep, giving us more time to find and learn a more permanent way to destroy her, and get her out of our lives for good. To my left a Cyclops came towards me, and as Riptide sliced it in two, its face morphed into that of Annabeth's. More monsters crowded around me, their faces also shifting to those of friends, family, people who had died because of me and those who felt as thought I had betrayed them, and I guess to a certain degree, I had._

_The monsters attacked, clawing and cutting into me, while the chanting circled around me, as the faces screamed at me, throwing my guard down, allowing more of the hits to connect with me._

"_You killed me!" _

"_It's all your fault!"_

"_You were our hero!"_

"_We trusted and believe in you, and you just let us down!"_

"_We loved you, and you left us to die, you killed us, it's all your fault!" Annabeth and my mother screamed at me in unison, their words swam together in my head as the blades and claws dug into me, ripping and pulling me to shreds._

_A scream exploded as I let my pain and despair out, cutting off my whimpers and pleads for them to stop, for it all just to end._

"Percy? Percy!" Someone was saying, pleading with me, trying to get me to wake.

Painfully I screamed again, slowly damaging my vocal cords more, as my eyes snapped open suddenly, the figure next to me slowly edged backwards, and as I turned to him, worry shone brightly all across his face.

_I guess when you're the god of sleep and you can't stop some stupid mortal from having a simple nightmare, then it must make you feel pretty shit_, I thought to myself, not allowing a part of my guilt to appear on my face, as I locked it away with the rest of the pain and torment I carried around with me daily, trapped in the depths of my heart; if I even had a heart anymore. Normally I would have let him know that I felt bad for him, having me dumped on him, and not being willing to allow him to help me in the slighting, I mean it was my pain, so why couldn't they let me deal with it by myself, or just let me die like I originally wanted? Now I felt nothing, or at least I let everyone else around me believe that I felt nothing, that I was just an isolated island, lost far away in the depths of the sea, just like Atlantis, if it was really lost.

Slowly I gestured towards the door that led to the bathroom to the side of me, his eyes following my finger, before returning to my face, as he nodded.

"Of course Percy, this is your house too while you're living with me, so therefore everything here that is mine, is yours also remember. I'll go and make you some breakfast now that you're finally up, and be fast, you have half an hour before school starts, and I don't you to be late."

While he was talking, I got myself up off of the bed, and walked groggily across to the bathroom door, blocking out his words. I striped and got into the shower, turning in on and enjoying the feel of the water running down my sweaty, naked body.

Before the summer holidays, I used to be the captain of the swim team at Goode, but when I came back this year, the first thing I did was quite, because no matter how much I loved the water, I hated being around, or being in the presence of the gods, including my dad, which means I would do anything to keep out of their domains, but at times it's a bit unavoidable, especially when the lord of the gods is determined to make me snap out of this depressed mood that had consumed me since the last great battle, purely because he doesn't want a depressed god, but honestly I didn't want to be a god, even if there was nothing for me left on Earth, I don't really want to be alive for the whole of eternity either. I would rather just die. At school my grades drastically became worse over the weeks, and I found it hard to concentrate in class, mostly because of the flashbacks that always occurred if I let my mind wander away from me. I don't even know why I go to school now anyway.

Paul is still my English teacher, but he hates my gut more than the camper at Camp Half-Blood after what happened to my mom, and to be honest, if I had the energy to care, or feel anymore, I would hate myself too.

After I turned off the water, I towel dried myself, refusing to use my powers unless it was ever completely necessary, if I could turn off being able to breathe under water, then I would have let myself die the last time I went to visit my dad, against my own wished of course. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I walked into my room and quickly got dressed into my now too big school uniform, before heading into the kitchen, were Hypnos was sitting, drinking a glass of nectar, quickly I grabbed half a slice of toast, and rushed out of the door, not acknowledging him at all, and not noticing the small wince when he saw how much I had decided to eat for breakfast. When the house was out of sight, and a few streets behind me, I took a detour into Central Park, throwing my untouched food into a bin, and the plonked myself down on a bench, in a less than graceful manner. Already I knew there was no way I would be able to get to school on time, and I didn't want to be there at all anyway, so that was fine by me. Placing my school bag on the seat next to me, I searched through it, until I found my small metal flask, pulling it out, and taking a long drink, barley tasting the vodka, as it slid down his throat, before putting it back into my bag, hiding it back where it originally was.

After that quick confidence booster, I stood and lazily made my way towards school, being careful not to walk past the apartment that I used to share first with my mom and Gabe, and then with mom and Paul. When the noticed how much the last war had destroyed me, to my surprise they actually tried to help me, they passed me around from god to god, each taking it in turns to try and fix me, in their own unique and unusual methods. I soon found out the true reason why Zeus was so insistent to help, and it wasn't because of my father's pleads, but they never managed to help me anyway, other than Dionysus, who accidentally introduced me to alcohol, which made it easier to hide and ignore the pain, and forget the ghosts from the past, at least until it all returned the moment I closed my eyes, even for a second face of the dead haunted me.

I was brought out of my thoughts as I walked into my English classroom, 15 minutes late. Paul just ignored me as usual and got on with the lesson, while the rest of the room stared, as I made my way to my normal spot at the back of the room, near the window. The lesson passed normally for the next 20 minutes, Paul set work for everyone to do, while I was trapped in flashbacks from the past, hiding any discomfort I felt, therefore no one else in the room had any idea what was going on in my head.

I so far gone, locked in my own personal labyrinth, -just this one wasn't quite as east to escape as the original- that I didn't even notice when the principle came to the door, with two not quite strangers.

Apollo

I followed behind Poseidon and the principle, as they walking into the room. The teacher became quite as he recognised the sea god, casting a quite almost unnoticeable glance towards to a boy sat at the back, eyes seemingly staring out of the window. Percy.

His black hair had grow long since the last time I really got to see him, hanging over his eyes, and the longest locks sitting around his shoulders, his uniform hung limply from his too thin figger, showing clearly that he was losing weight; fast.

While I was stook, lost in my thoughts, Poseidon had walked over to his son, trying to get his attention, or some sort of response from the teen. And failing. He slowly got up and turned to me, his worry easily visible, so I quickly made my way across to the young hero, making my way between the desks, before I crouched down by his side, right in front of his face, and yet it stayed in the impassive, emotionless mask we gods had slowly got used to over the months, and yet still hated, not even showing any sign that he had seen or noticed me. Long dark lashed framed his hollow sea green eyes, and his full lips were parted just a fraction.

Slowly I reached out and put my hand gently on his slender wrist, as I called out his name, just to yet again get no response, so I sent a bit of healing energy from me into him. Once the energy was in him, his eyes closed, and he fall forward, collapsing onto my lap. I took a quick look up to the sea god, and saw his worry intensified; slowly evolving into fear and panic. Carefully I snaked my arms around the teen to hold him steady as I tried to wake him. After a few minuets, the room in complete silence, Percy's eyes opened, quickly closing, before opening yet again, slower this to, so that they would get used to the light. His eyes travelled between me and his father, where they then came back to me, and it was easy to see the guilt shining with months of unshed tears.

"Welcome back Perseus," I said softly.

A questioning look appeared on the boy's face, and I could only guess that he was trying to work out why we were here, since he refused to talk.

"Your uncle wants to see you and then your dad," I motioned towards Poseidon, "Wants you to stay with him for a bit, you never know, hopefully it will help for you to be somewhere you recognise, where you feel at home."

Once again there was no response. I wouldn't really have minded if he cried or shouted at us, saying everything was all our fault, but no, he never spoke, he just always looked at you with his broken, dead eyes, that always seamed to be able to look straight through you. To be honest, I think that is one of the thing that hurt me the most, I just wanted that 14 year old, who would do anything, go anywhere, risk everything, just to save someone he cares about, and yet still be happy and enjoy every moment of his life, managing to cheer up anyone he was around, the boy you could trust with anything. Now he's just empty, and it kills me every time I see him like this, which is becoming more and more now that he's been forced to stay with us, either with a god or goddess, or lock up in Olympus for his own good.

Gracefully and slowly, the sea prince stood from my lap; turning slowly to his desk, to pack away his pen and notebook, then going to put his rucksack across his back, but seeing what he was about to do, I reached out, grabbing it, and putting it onto my shoulder. A slight hit of surprise made itself know on his perfect face, before it vanished just as fast as it appeared. He turned and walked towards the door, not stopping to say goodbye to anyone, even thought it was quite likely that he would never see them again, but there was also a large possibility that he didn't even have any friends, or even allies at this school, which made me angry, this hero should have anything he could ever want and never know sadness.

As we made our way away from the school, Percy didn't try to run from us like he did at first, he was just submissive, and detached. When we were out of sight from the school, or any other mortal, I took hold of one of his arms, while his father got the other, as we teleported up to the throne room of Olympus with us.

**A/N: So then what do you think? Like? Dislike? Love? Hate? Please let me know, and reviews are loved.**

**~Ingradera**


	2. Family

**Warnings: Flashbacks, nightmares, slashy thoughts**

**Disclaimer: Dreams are just that, dreams, so I'm afraid to say that I own nothing.**

Percy

Wind rushed around me as they teleported us up to Olympus, and it was just my luck that we didn't land in the middle of the throne room, or even close to it. When I opened my eyes, I could see the beautifully sculptured marble temples in the distance, surrounding where I knew the apartments, kitchens, and where our destination was. Annabeth had really done a good job redesigning this place, her modern touches mixed with the ancient, almost ageless aspects that remained from the first war, keeping all of the previous perfection, and added to it, making it seem more complete. The sun hung gracefully in the air, casting shadows around, making the soft colours glisten in its light, causing everything to look just as godly as the Olympians themselves.

Lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice being frogmarched thought the lower town and up to Zeus, or the looks that were sent in my directions by minor gods, nymphs, and a variety of many other creatures, both sympathetic and anger combined. Apollo and my dad glared at them, causing them to back away muttering to themselves, or whispering rumours and secrets to their friends nearby. Thinking back I remembered my first time here, when I was loaded down with Zeus' lightning bolt, after finishing my first quest, I recalled how hard I had thought it was, and how I was certain that none of my friends would ever betray or abandon me. Life must have a funny sense of humour. Not only was that one of my easier quests, as nobody had died, and friendships were made, but also in the end it was me betraying the people who trusted me, not the other way around.

Poseidon waved at the doors as we approached them, and they immediately opened, as if they dared not to anger or disappoints him as I had. Sitting majestically on his throne from the opposite side of the room was the lord of the gods himself, seeming unchanged from the last time I saw him merely the month before. As usual he looked bored, as thought he had much better things he could be doing with his time, and if I was going to be honest with myself he probably did, which was of no concern of mine, but I might as well try and make this go as fast as I could for both of our sakes, so I can get out of here, and he can go play extreme king of the universe, or seducing some unknowing woman to sire more half-blood children, as the big three were now allowed to have children once again, but surprisingly, Poseidon had remained childfree so far, while the other two had about a dozen each born recently. Wondering what Thalia and Nico would think of that, I once again accidentally zoned out, missing what my uncle was telling me, only coming back to my senses when Apollo placed a hand genially on my arm, giving it an involuntary crease, making my eyes snap straight to him, and my breath to catch in my throat.

Gods he was gorgeous.

Wait, no I shouldn't be thinking about that, he's a god and I'm just some pathetic mortal, plus I would only fuck things up as I always tend to do. The sky god shot me a worried glance, and started talking, repeating all that he had said so far so I would get it this time, sounding strangely patient.

"Well as I was saying Perseus, we can't help you if you don't let us in, we all want to help you get past this, to return to how you used to be, but it includes some work on your part too, you need to allow us to know what you're thinking, how you're feeling, and then we can give you a hand getting past it. For now Poseidon has asked that you could go and stay with him, and I believe that maybe a good idea, you'll be with your dad, who you know loves you, and who you trusted once, and being in the ocean may help you heal some of your scars, both physical and mental." He paused for a few moments, before continuing in an almost pleading tone, "Please Percy, let us in, let us help you."

I nodded slowly, not to agree, but just to let him know that I had listened to what he said, and just after that small tilt of my head, the world around me vanished, and the past returned yet again.

"_Mom," I called out, as I locked the apartment door behind me, "I'm home, Paul is a work, he has a meeting that he forgot about, and he told me to tell you that he was sorry."_

_When I walked into the living room, I almost had a heart attack at the sight that awaited me, Gaia, and two demigods were there with a badly beaten version of my mother. Fury and rage clouded my vision while I demanded to know what they wanted, and that they would let her go, just for them to laugh in my face._

_Gaia then decided to revile her plans, "All of us know that the war is just over the horizon now young goddling, and since you refuse to join us countless of times, it's time that we stop you from being on the side of the enemy too, so since you always seem to survive through the most deadly of situations, then we will kill a part of you that you can't protect. We'll brake you so far that you will wish yourself dead."_

_In the exact second those words had left her lips, the half-blood the left of my mother raised his sword, and I watched as it moved in slow motion, cutting through her neck, removing her head from her shoulders in one quick, fluent movement. The trio vanished from sight as soon as the deed was complete, leaving the room to be stained by the warm blood. Sinking to my knees I watched, unseeing as the blood danced around the carpet, making unique, complex patens in the navy blue carpet._

I screamed, breaking through the memory for only a second, before it entrapped me once more, moulding itself into a nightmare, just only this time I was awake.

_Behind the sofa a hand twitched, followed by the other, as the headless body of my mother began to regain conciseness, an illusion of life, pulling herself towards her head, as fast as her corpse would allow her. Once the head was in reaching distance, pitch black tendrils released themselves from the neck and head, where blood had been oozing from moments before, began to knit together, reattaching the missing limb to its former place. As soon as the process was complete, the zombie version of mom stood up in jerky movements, as though she wasn't used to the body yet. She, it made its way across the room towards me, muttering in Greek, stealing my mother's voice, "It's all your fault Percy. I should have chucked you out, got rid of you the first second I could. Too bad I had to meet your father, my life would have been amazing without him abandoning me, pregnant with some problem child, who bring danger with him where ever he goes; who hurts everyone that cares for him."_

_The words continued in that exact manner, repeating over and over again when she had ran out of something new the throw at him like freshly sharpened daggers. Collapsing to the floor, tears running marathons down my face, I curled up into a tight ball, waiting for the torture to stop; for it to leave me be. Just as I was starting to believe that it would never end, that I would be trapped in my own personal Tartars for the rest of eternity, a bright golden light filled the room, and my thoughts went instantly to Apollo, the god who had managed to win the heart of a broken, worthless, pathetic demigod._

Poseidon (seconds after Zeus had stopped talking)

Percy just froze, and at first I thought everything was okay, as he had already done this several time today without noticing it himself, just carrying on as normal. It wasn't until he started to shiver, and whimper slightly, his hand curled up into tight fists, with blood slowly falling from between his fingers; it was then that I knew things weren't at all okay. Whimpers broke free from his lips, as he collapsed onto the floor yet again, curling himself up tight. It was beyond painful to watch, but after millennia of looking over mortals, you see and learn a lot, like for one thing there was nothing that I would be able to do to comfort him of help him right now, not without him trusting me and allowing me to calm him. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, tired of being restrained for so long, staining his too red cheeks as they made their journey down them.

Surprisingly Apollo looked just as shook up as I did, if not worse, and that was something I would have to talk to him about. I have known for a while now about Apollo's feeling for Percy, they're blatantly obvious each and every time we speak of the sea prince, and I also know that Aphrodite was strongly hinting that these feelings were retuned, even if he didn't know what he was truly feeling yet. After what seemed like an eternity of watching the hero shiver into the clod marble, all unable to move out of shock, and fear of making it worse, Perseus finally uncurled himself from the ball, and got to his feat slowly and carefully, all trace of tear gone except from the stains. It broke my heart to see my favourite child like this.

All the shaking had vanished; the only movement that was visible was the slight rise and fall of his shoulders, which was slightly faster than normal. Even thought he was back with us again, it was easy to see that his mind was not; he was still dwelling on what he had seen, ignoring everyone and everything in the room. Apollo looked up at me, his face mirroring the fear and worry that I felt, as he silently asked for my promotion to approach my son. Quickly I gave him a nod, to show that he could, and that I would very much prefer him to try and help him as fast as possible, because I already knew that there was nothing I could do to help, and that I was delusional to believe that having Perseus with me at Atlantis would do anything to help him. Slowly he raised one hand to Percy's shoulders, and both Zeus and I could clearly see how he relaxed more the closer the sun god got to him, before he completely returned to us at the exact moment that Apollo's hand landed softly on him arm.

When the god saw that Percy was once again with us, he immediately flung his arms around the teen hugging him close, and to everyone's surprise, Percy hugged back. Yes it did take him a minute to register what was happening and to will his arms to move, but he did hug back, even if it did seem slightly hollow, it still showed that he had some chance of healing. Maybe if I wasn't so selfish I would have Apollo look after Percy instead, since it was obvious that he was the only one at the moment who was able to get a response from him, but I was selfish; I wanted my son where I could look over him and try to keep him safe.

Zeus' thoughts appeared in my mind, _keep Apollo close, you may need his help if anything like that happens, and if things do go bad, if he gets worse, or you see no improvement, then let my son look after him, if may help._

_I understand brother, hopefully we can fix Perseus so that he is no longer broken quickly, before things get worse_, I replied.

Once Percy had been released from Apollo's grasp, I gently placed a hand on his shoulder, bided the room goodbye, and then teleported us to my home. The moment we arrived, I felt Percy begin to fall, so I moved so I had a tighter hold around him, keeping him upright, and when I looked towards him, I noticed how exhausted he looked, and it was then that I realised that so much had happened today, so he was bound to need sleep, especially since he doesn't manage to get that much at night because of his nightmares.

Carefully I began to guide him to his room so he could rest for a while, but unfortunately, just before we got there I heard the voices of my wife and Triton.

"Why do we have to look after him? If he's such a great hero shouldn't he be able to care for himself?" My immortal son asked.

"I know my child, just your father seems to have an unhealthy obsession to protect that mortal, and obsession that has passed itself onto the other gods also. Hopefully I don't think he shall be here long, so ignore him and avoid him when you can, I know I will be."

The voices faded as they walked away, and by the time we turned the corner they were out of sight. I turned to look at Percy, hoping that he hadn't heard that, but judging by what I could see of his face, he defiantly did. His face was turned towards the ground, with his hair acting as a shield, covering and protecting his face from onlookers like myself, but I did manage to catch a glimpse of his eyes, which were once again swimming in oceans of unshed tears.

_Please y son let us help you_, I thought as I led the prince of the sea into the room that I had gotten made especially for him.

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of the awesome reviews, I'm glad you enjoy is.**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**~Ingradera **


	3. No Longer A Home

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't have the privilege of owning the demigods or anything, but I can still dream that I do… Right?**

**Warning: Nightmares, Slash, Self harm, Attempted Suicide, Strong language, PTSD, Flashbacks, Torture. All in all, pretty depressing.**

**For those who might not have already guessed, I'm not American, so I don't know all the different names for things, or the slang, all I've learnt came from TV and books, so I'm sorry if thing are wrong.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**O:O:O:O:O**

Percy

Glancing up, I noticed Poseidon looking intently at me, trying to gauge my reaction to my step family's conversation, luckily he could not seen through my hair, which had grown thick in the last few weeks. I forced my face to stay neutral as I met his gaze, and judging by his face I think he bought my act, but there was something else hided in his face; something that I couldn't read all that easily, but it looked like guilt, or maybe pity. Travelling further down the corridor, we stopped in front of a door, which sensing my father's presence, opened automatically, allowing us to pass through the threshold into one of the biggest bedrooms I've ever seen.

Naturally all the walls and the floor were covered in sea green, and they also bathed in a godlike glow, that wasn't coming from the sea god. Standing proud in the centre of the room, stood a bed that seemed several sizes bigger than a kind size, draped with sheets and blankets, all different shades of green, with comfortable looking pillows perched gracefully on top of them, all dressed in blue, once again all different shades. Unlike the rest of the palace, this room had a more modern quality, which was highlighted but the wall to ceiling window off to the left of my bed, which gave me absolutely stunning views of not just Atlantis, but also what must have been the most beautiful part of the Atlantic that I've ever got the chance to see. Looking closer I saw that the whole of the window was able to be opened outwards, with a large balcony on the other side, the whole window was framed with sapphire curtains that had am emerald trim around them. Many useless items littered the room, including a dark stained oak dresser, which stood next to a gigantic wardrobe, across from the window, there was a huge bookcase that would make even Athena jealous, on the wall that held the door, there was a flat screen TV that took up most of the wall, with a dark green sofa lounging in front of it. Tucked away in one corner was thousands of beanbags and large pillows, piled up to make what looked like an absolutly blissful seat.

Glancing back at the bed I realised how bone crushingly tired I really was, but just the thought of sleep sent shivers down my spine, I didn't think that I would be able to deal with the nightmares tonight. Normally, since I've been living with the gods, they were only witnessed by those who wanted to help, but with my stepfamily here as well I wasn't sure how that would affect them, whether they would stay away or get worse. Poseidon noticed my slightly longing look, and he followed my eyes, until his too landed upon the over sized bed, before they hurried back to me.

"Percy, if you're tried you are allowed to sleep. I'll leave you be, give you some space, but I'll be right next door, in my room, if you want anything. Okay?"

I forced my head to bob up and down in a nod, avoiding the sea lord's piercing gaze, before he turned uncertainly and left the room, leaving me with just my thoughts for company, and to be honest, I could decide if it was better or worse. On one hand, I really didn't want anyone to see me this weak, and I just wanted everyone to leave me alone, so that I could either live my life in peace, or just go and find my friends in the Underworld, that is if they don't hate me like everyone else does. However, when I was free to listen to my thoughts, without the distraction of someone else being there, my thoughts drastically became darker, and more suffocating.

Collapsing to the soft carpet, I unwillingly remembered the last time that I was completely and utterly alone, with absolutely no way of escape…

**O:O:O:O:O**

Having no opinion in the matter, the young half-blood leaned against the blood stained walls that belonged to the room that had became his cell, his own personal hell, right in the centre of Tartarus, trying not to aggravate any of his many wounds, especially the whip marks that spread across his back, as he tried to get comfortable enough to attempt to sleep, knowing he would need it for when the unnamed torturer would return for another round on his already destroyed body. His arms hung limply above his head, locked tightly in chains that were bolted to the obsidian wall, pulling on his wrist, which felt as though it had broken up into millions of tiny pieces. It was excruciating!

Eventually his eyes fluttered close, bringing a dreamless sleep in its wake, and even though Percy wasn't conscious to thank it, he was still glad, because if he hadn't been so exhausted, the temporary oblivion would have met him with visions that rivalled the horrors of the real world, dragging home the certainly that no one was looking for him, he was dead to everyone, but thought the isolation that was ever present, he couldn't manage to worry about his fate for long, as he fears always went to Annabeth, and he hoped that when he heard the Titans talking sometime before, they were truthful in their annoyance that she had escaped, and they weren't just saying it to lull him in into a false sense of security, and hope that he may be able to get out also. But he doubted that was the case. As soon as he overheard their conversation, his encounters with people and monsters, either living or undead, became worse. He no longer was able to command his body to move any more; eliminating freedom as a sane option.

Not long after peace fell upon the young sea prince, a demigod sauntered into the room, delivering a swift kick into the boys rips in attempt to wake him, and unfortunately for the hero it worked, and he awoke to the sickening snap coming from one of the few rib that were still intact.

"I see sleeping beauty has returned to the land of the living, figuratly of course." The boy said, the smirk clearly audible in his voice.

The half-blood didn't respond to his taunting, half because he doubted that he had the energy, and any small amount that he did have would be spent on the ordeal that was sure to follow, but more importantly, because he know what happened when he talked back to any of his guests. Luckily the child of the sea worked that out fast. Each time he would talk back, or broke one of their rules, the pain that was inflicted, that was originally for their sadistic pleasure, would then turn into a punishment also. So he held my tongue, but apparently that wasn't the right thing to do. It never was.

"You will respond when I talk to you, or I will make this ten times worse."

What he didn't already know was that all hope had left the teen's being, as thought Pandora's box had been opened, and Hope had abandoned him just like everyone else had, and yet he couldn't blame it, it made the right choice in the end. He wanted to die. To give in. He wanted to lever all of this pain, misery, despair, he wanted to leave it all. Yes people would miss him, but another hero would appear, born from his ashes, and they shall be so much better than he am; than he was. Once again his mouth stayed firmly close, as he silently prayed to Hades, to let him into the Underworld, realise him from life in Tartarus, and into death elsewhere.

Unbearable pain consumed him, oddly giving him a strange feeling of comfort, because this is the only world he knew of now, a black stone cage, with stranger abusing him for a mix my punishment and their amusement. The familiar cloudiness that only appeared before he felt unconsciousness filled his brain, slightly numbing the feel of the blade piercing through his skin, before he slipped out of the world once more, his last thoughts sent out to his wise girl, praying desperately that she was okay; that she was safe.

**O:O:O:O:O**

Slowly I found myself waking from the dream or memory, at first confused at the bright sea light that glistened through the window, brightening the entire of the room, but then I realised that I must have feel asleep when I collapsed, and no one had entered the room, as I was on the floor still just like I was yesterday. Suddenly the door opened with such force, that when it hit the wall behind it, it bounced off again, leaving a noticeable dint behind, and _ came striding in, with an arrogant smirk dancing upon his lips, that sent shivers down my spine, as I once again remembered the sadistic smiles of the people who played host to me for several weeks… Or was it months? For a second I could have sworn that a frown etched itself onto my half brother's face, but when I looked again it was gone without a trace.

"**My**," he emphasised, "Father wants to see you, though I'm not sure why he's wasting his time with some stupid, weak, pathetic excuse of a demigods, such as yourself." He spat, before he turned on his heal, slamming the door behind him.

Turning towards the window, I looked out, swimming in my thoughts, one particular annoying, and persistent voice shouting above my own.

_Do you really what to go see Poseidon? He's a god and you're just weak, why would he be bothered with you, when he has a son that is so much better than you. Don't trick yourself into thinking that anyone cares for you, you'll just be being delusional. Everyone would be happier if you were dead! You! Are! Nothing!_

I blinked tears from my eyes for what must have been the millionth time in the last few days, laughing at myself for being so pathetic. I knew the words were true; there was so much evidence to support them. I just wasn't wanted anywhere, and if the gods were as caring as they acted, they would have eons to get over the loss of one demigod, I mean so many had already dies, how did one more life matter?

_That's right_, the voice confirmed, _nobody wants you, you're just a waste of space. You'd be better off dead, at least then someone worthy could stand in your former glory could be the hero that everyone needs._

Allowing the words the repeat again and again through my head, I silently made my way to the invisible border of Atlantis, that kept the city dry, but also stopped any mortal to see what was really there, that is if they could live through the extreme pressure that was present at the deepest part of the Atlantic. I would never admit to anyone, but what with the lost land being so far below the rest of the world, and cut off from anything mortal, it half reminded me of Tartarus.

Quickly I moved the water so that it pushed me away from Poseidon's kingdom, certain that no one had seen me, as I swam faster than I ever had before through the warm currents, until something caught my eye, sparking up at me from its home on the ocean floor, and upon closer inspection, I realised that it was an old abandoned tempered steal knife, a weapon to most, but when I looked at it, I saw beyond the masquerade of an enemy, to an opportunity, a release, a friend. Taking the rusting handle into my hand, I swam up to the surface, at breakneck speeds, where I spied a small cave that was out of sight to the untrained eye. It was conveniently tucked away behind a waterfall, hidden from the watchful views of the waves, away from the gods; making this the perfect place. I brought the blasé down to my wrist, shivering slightly as the cold metal toughed, my heated skin.

All the deaths by my naivety, and idiotic, childish behaviour swirled within my mind.

_Annabeth jumped in front of me, intercepting the flaming ball of anger that was flung towards me, which claimed a new victim instead... Her golden blond hair fanned out around her, as her burnt body, fell limp to the floor, all life leaving her once beautiful eyes, making it easy to believe that they were always so cold; so lifeless; so unforgiving._

Without my brain fully comprehending what I was doing, the blade dug deep into my skin, causing blood to break out almost immediately, as the steal made its way from my wrist up towards my elbow, before the blade fell from my grip, hitting the stone floor loudly causing my to flinch away from the noise in fear, which cause near hysterical laughter to bubble up from my lips at my own unacceptable actions. I sat there in silence, except from the noise of the waves hitting rock nearby, just watching as my blood fell gracefully from my wrist, staining the stones beneath me an amazing crimson red.

Light, and all feeling of awareness retreated back into the darkness that gave them life, as I fell to the ground, my head bouncing of a small rock, and yet there was no pain, just a wave of peacefulness, as I felt my life drain out of my bones, being stolen by the inanimate stone that surrounded me on every side, trapping me. And I welcomed it! The last thing I saw before my eyes flickering shut, was a silhouette, breaking though the screen of water that I thought would protect me, and hid me from the outside world, silently screaming my name…

**O:O:O:O:O**

**A/N: DUN DUN DUNNN! And there you have it, kind of depressing in my opinion, but I hope you enjoyed none the less.**

**A few quick questions to see what you think then.**

**1) Is Percy really dead?**

**2) Who was the figure who appeared to try and save him from himself?**

**3) What did you think of the chappy?**

**Please review and answer, all that do shall receive a virtual blue cookie, giant thank you once again for everyone who has so far.**

**Well until next time, which if I get reviews will before next Sunday, maybe Wednesday or Thursday instead since I've got a bit of extra time next week, I'll see what I can do.**

**~ Ingradera**


	4. After Effects

**Disclaimer: I can dream, but that doesn't mean that the dreams will com true therefore, I don't own any part of Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

**Warnings: Slash, flashbacks, nightmares, torture**

**A/N: Thank you everyone who has followed, favourite, and most importantly reviews, blook cookies to all **

**O:O:O:O:O**

Triton

After I had left Percy's room, I immediately felt bad for how I had acted towards him, and how I had treated him, I didn't even what to be so harsh, but something was stopping me from looking after my little brother, something I was finding very hard to fight. I could easily see how much pain he was in, and yet all I could do was keep adding to it and it was slowly beginning to dig away at me, so IU couldn't even bring myself to think about how much it must be destroying him.

Instead of going back to tell dad that he was awake, I found myself hiding a bit away from my brother's room, waiting for him to leave, so I could follow him a make sure he was okay, without him knowing that I was there. I wasn't waiting long. Only a few minuets after I left, Percy did also, his cheeks still tear stained, and his eyes bloodshot, but other than that there was no other emotion shown at all upon his face, which honestly scared me.

Staying some distance behind him, I followed him as he left Atlantis, struggling to keep up as he ploughed through our father's domain, only stopping once to retrieve something from the seabed, and judging from Percy's permanent depression, it didn't take me long to work out what it was, even though I didn't see it myself. For only a few seconds my concentration slipped, causing me to loss the demigod. _Gods he was fast! _

Luckily I found him, but I was only able to do so when I overheard some chocked sobs coming out from behind a waterfall off to my left, so out of curiosity and fear I followed the sound. Bursting through the wall of water, I almost froze in shock at the sight that met me, whilst I unconsciously screamed Percy's name, just before he collapsed into a pool of his own blood and tears.

Right then, I felt myself rip through the barrier that was forcing me to modify my actions around my younger brother, as I gentaly took his limp body into my arms, rushing him to the salt water, so that he could begin to heal weather he liked it or not. As soon as the cut was healed up, I found myself letting go of the breath that I didn't know what I was holding. The second Perseus seemed stable, I teleported us both directly into our father's throne room, unfortunately while he was in the middle of either a conversation, or argument with Apollo.

**O:O:O:O:O**

Poseidon (a few moment priya)

Slowly the worry began to creep up on me; I had sent Triton to check on Percy almost half an hour again, and he had yet to return. Deep down I knew that he cared for his younger half-sibling, and yet something was stopping him from showing those feeling, which is why I sent him instead of going myself, in hope that it make snap it out of it. Since I was so deeply lost on thought, I didn't even notice when Apollo flashed into my throne room, until he cleared his throat to gain my attention, but unfortunately, it also gained him a trident to the neck for surprising me. Slowly he raised his hand to the weapon, keeping eye contact with me the entire time, before he carefully pushed it to one side.

"How is he?" The sun god asked, concern weighing heavily in his words.

"I don't know!" I exclaimed falling into my throne, not knowing what was making me confess all of my worries to my nephew, but a part of me was glad, Apollo cared deeply for Percy, and maybe, just maybe he would be better for him that me at this moment in time, and I knew he would keep anything that was said here to himself, and not make it common knowledge among the gods. "I thought that having him somewhere that was familiar, with people who cared for him, our people, and me, would make him feel better, but it just seems to make him close up more. I thought that the sea was far enough away from everything he's been through to help him start to heal, but the flashbacks and dreams just seem to be gradually getting worse, and the most painful part is that he doesn't even seem to realise he's having them anymore, unless it's a particular horrific one. Desperately I would love to help him, to hold him close, but I'm starting to believe that that may be the worse thing to do, maybe it reminds him of his mother trying to protect him, or something, I just don't know!"

The more rational part of my brain was surprised that Apollo hadn't interrupted me at all during my little rant, and he didn't try to rebuke or belittle me for my efforts. Instead he just looked sadly down at the ground, as though that was what he expected to here, before he retuned his expression to neutral, looking me dead in the eye and asking, "Where is he?"

Just as I was bout to tell him that I didn't know, Triton appeared behind the sun god, with an unconscious Percy in his arms, whereas I was too shocked to move, and scared of what I would find out if I did, Apollo just ran straight over to them, examining Percy's health, and by the look of him, I don't think he liked what he saw. Turning to me the sun god began to speak, but I was so lost in my own remote land of worry, that the words didn't manage to get through me, until a warm hand landed softly on my shoulder.

"Take him," I said, my voice heavy with emotion, I didn't want to lose my son, but it was easy to see that being down here was just making him worse, and it wasn't hard to guess what he had done to make both gods so worried like that. I could feel tears beginning to form, but I wouldn't let them fall, "Just take him…"

Apollo looked down at the ground with a look of guilt across his face, before he took Percy from Triton and left my palace to go to his home.

"What did he do?"

Triton looked down to the ground, inspecting the immaculate tile floor, "He found a blade while he was swimming, and when I lost him for a second, he hid away, slicing his arm from wrist to elbow. I found him just as he fainted, taking him into the water," then he went on to ask, possibly to distract me, "Want to tell me what just happened there with Apollo?"

"A back up plan," I mumbled, "We thought that there would be the possibility that being here would make Percy worse, bring the memories more often, and more horrifying each time, so if that was the case, then Apollo would look after him, try and return some normality back into his life, and yet also at the same time keep him safe."

"Why didn't you do that before then father?"

"Because up on Olympus it's common knowledge that they both like each other, and yet neither knows of the others feelings, so we were scared of how it would affect Perseus, but I doubt things could get much worse, and Apollo will make sure to look after him, or it could possibly destroy him as well."

My elder son could easily see that I no longer wished to talk about it anymore, so he excused himself, before heading off to warn each of my subjects not to disturbed me.

_Please make sure that Percy stays safe,_ I prayed to anyone who decided to listen at that point in time.

**O:O:O:O:O**

Percy

_Once again the chanting had returned, thought his time I found my self on a different battlefield, with a different enermy, who had once discised themselves as a friend. Luck stood before me, holding Brickbiter to Annabeth's throat, as he started trying to persuade me to slide Riptide into her, cutting her life away from her body, releasing her from the false sanctuary of life, into the welcoming grips of Hades. For a split second I lost all control off my arm, unable to stop it now it had started it's downward descent. Looking away didn't stop me knowing what it sliced through her body, chopping her clean in two. The chanting around me quieted slightly when my blade touched her, allowing me to clearly hear it's journey, and her broken, painful screams, which filled my mind. The air around me stilled, but it didn't last for long, before the incantations returned to full strength, and suddenly I found myself strapped to the cold marble floor of the Olympus throne room, with both my mother and Annabeth glaring daggers down at me, each look cutting into me, drawing blood. Unsheathing her blade, Annabeth passed it across to my mom, who knelt down next to me, a malicious glint in her eyes, and she positioned the cold metal over my heart, and dragged it, diagonally, cutting through my skin like butter, welcoming the blood to pool to the surface and pain my torso red, as it made it's decent all the way down to the waistband of my trousers, before she pulled it out, just to ruthful stab it into the right thigh._

_Taking over from her, my wise girl reached down to my hands, breaking one finger after another, moving onto the next after she had done with the first, and then continuing on to my toes, pulling excruciating cried of pain from me, tearing away slowly at my vocal cords, so I knew that once this ordeal was done, I would not only be dead, I would be broken completely, both mentally and physically. Slowly they made their way across my body, breaking every bone they could get to until there was none left intact, and all energy to fight, scream, to beg, had long since left me, leaving only the insufferable pain, and the salty tears that stained my cheeks._

_Sometime during my pain educed delirium, they left me, leaving me alone for I don't know how long, and just as I was starting to believe that they were planning to abandon me, alone and isolated, suffering in silence with no escape, they retuned._

_Their hands held old fashioned tortured, but instead of the normal red, or orange flames on top of them sat the bright green flame of Greek fire, which sat and mocked me from afar, before it was shoved into me, directly over my heart, spreading slowly across my chest, until it engulfed me completely. It felt like years had pasted before the pain began to slowly ebb away, unceremoniously dragging the chants and incantations in its wake._

My eyes flew open, but when I tried to scream, pain shot through my neck, causing me to grab it, fresh tears in my eyes, which I couldn't help but let fall, untamed down my cheeks. A warm, southing hand reached out a touched my shoulder gently, and much to my surprise I didn't immediately flinch away, I welcomed the warmth, and the healing that it brought with it. Carefully I tested my voice to see if it would work, and it did, so without thinking I did the first thing I could think of, I thanked the stranger.

"Anytime young Percy, at least for the time being, my life revolves around keeping you safe, and making you happy, because quite honestly I hate seeing you so broken like this, I miss the you that was willing to drop everything to go and find the girl he loved, to lift the sky so that my sister was free to fight, who has saved the world countless of times, sometimes without a hint of thanks." Apollo's voice replied.

Looking around, I noticed him perched at the edge of the bed, his hand still perching on my arm, before he remembered himself and moved it away, a very slight blush tinting his cheeks, and I immediately found myself missing the contact. There was nothing more that I wanted to do but crawl over and snuggle up to the sun god, but I remembered my place, and the fact that I would probably end up a some sort of bird if I tried to do so, little did I know that Apollo was also missing the contact too. When I glanced up at him I saw his glorious sapphire eyes gazing down at me, locking on the tears that still ran uncontrollably, his hand slowly making it's way to me once again, just this time to wipe away the moisture, and almost unconsciously, I found myself leaning into the touch.

"So Perseus," he started, his beautiful eyes locking with my own," Fancy telling me what happened in that nightmare of yours to keep you screaming and begging, trapped in your sleep for the last five days?"

**O:O:O:O:O**

**A/N: Wow so Percy was trapped in his own personal Tarturs for five days being tortured by those who he thought loved him, and killed the one who stole his heart, and he talking willingly for the first time since he lost everything. And Triton cares for his baby brother too. YAY! How many of you expected that then eh?**

**1) Does Percy tell him about the dream?**

**2) Does he keep talking, or does he keep silent once again from here on out?**

**3) What did you think of this update? Honest feeling please.**

**I hoped you enjoyed.**

**-Ingradera**


	5. Opening Up

**Disclaimer: However much I would love to say that I owned Percy Jackson, or anyone else, I'm afraid to say that 'I must not tell lies'.**

**Warnings: Slash, flashbacks.**

**A/N: To be quite honest, I think that this is my favorite story to write out of all of the three. Sorry for the spelling mistakes on the last chapter, I forgot to check through it before posting.**

**O:O:O:O:O**

Percy

Fuck! Of all the people to take the time to care about what I was dreaming about, it had to be the person that I wanted to tell more than anything else. Lying and hiding from the son didn't seem normal, I wanted to spill my guts, as I basked in the warmth that being in his presence provides. But I can't! I just can't allow myself to get close to someone yet again. Someone will just get hurt in the end; they always do, whether it is because of a break up or death. Besides Apollo wouldn't give a shit about me, some stupid, pathetic, waste-of-space, fucked up, self loathing demigod, I mean there's nothing good in me, nothing that would attract somebody else to me, and when did I even like men? One minute, did he just say five days? How the hell was I asleep for five days?!

My confusion must have shown on my face, because the good smiled softly, moving back slightly, and laying on his side facing me on the other side of the large king-size bed, "Well after your little accident, though I very much doubt that it was don't without intent to harm or kill, you passed out just as Triton found you. He naturally was worried for his little brother, so he brought you to your father, after taking you with him into the water so that you could heal, but where you appeared in Poseidon's throne room, I was also present, because I was worried about you, and wanted to make sure you were okay, so imagine my surprise when I saw the merprince holding onto your sleeping body. After giving you a look over to see if there was anything medical that could be done to help, your father decided it best that you spend some time with me, so I brought you straight here, and put you to bed, but almost immediately after I did you started thrashing around, crying out, begging for the pain to stop, screaming until you voice was hoarse, and you just wouldn't stop crying."

If I didn't know any better, I would have said that there was a hint if sadness in his voice, or some other unnameable emotion there, but that wouldn't be right, I mean he is above that, he's a god, I'm nothing.

"I hope you don't mind, but I took you to see Hypnos, to see if there was anything that he could do, but you seemed trapped inside, there was nothing he could do to help you out, give you an escape. He hates himself that he couldn't help you that he never has been able to. He sends his apologies."

_He took me? _I thought to myself, but I forgot that gods can read people's minds if they wanted to, and Apollo seemed to have realised that I wasn't going to talk on my own accord, so he took the less considerate option, and dig in out himself. To be honest I glad he did, this way I don't need to hide from him, but shit if he can read my thoughts he knows all of this. Glancing up to the sun god, a small smile played on his perfectly sculptured lips, while happiness danced around his eyes, and if I was not mistaken, I would say that he looked glad.

"I carried you since you didn't look like you would be moving anytime soon, and yes I can read your mind like all gods can, but I'll only do it when you want me to, because I do respect your privacy, but I also want to help and it's a bit hard to that if you're not talking you know?"

Gods how much I wanted to tell him everything, but if I did I would just get hurt again. Sighing, he pushed himself off the bed and looked down at me saying, "Well I can't really expect you to just to tell me everything right away can I? I mean you don't know me, and I don't know you, but if you'll let me then I would like to change that. But first things first, you should really try and eat something."

At the end he had walked around the bed so that he was stood by where I was laying, and extended a hand to help me up, and surprising myself I took it. Carefully, he helped to my feet, and placed another arm at my waist when I began to wobble a bit, before he slowly lead my downstairs, not letting go of my hand the entire time. I felt my cheeks warm from the contact, but I couldn't bring myself to pull away, it felt normal, right; comfortable even. Halfway down the stairs, my mind went back to the last time someone was leading me like this…

"_Come on seaweed brain hurry up," Annabeth called back to me, before she turned and grabbed my hand dragging me with her, "There's no need to be so nervous."_

"_Of course there is," I corrected her, much to her annoyance, "What if they don't like me?"_

"_How could anyone not like you?" My wise girl asked, turning around and pulling my lips down to hers for a longs breathtaking kiss, but when she let go it wasn't Annabeth that stood before me._

_The Minotaur stood in front of me, and the second I could see him clearly, he lowered his head, and pierced me with his sharp horns, pulling the life out of me as they were withdrawn. Just before the familiar darkness claimed me once more, the chanting rose up out of the walls, attacking me from either side, pulling more and more of my life essence out of me and parading it to the world._

**O:O:O:O:O**

Apollo

Percy fell limp, almost hitting the ground, but I was able to catch him just before he did so. Carefully I lifted him and took him across to one of my sofas, placing him gently on the centre one, which had a good view of both the TV, and out of the window. Once he was laying comfortably, I lifted his head by just enough so that I could sit down and rest it on my lap, running my fingers through his gorgeous jet black hair, while talking to him about everything and nothing, trying to give him something to latch onto other than the memories that always plague him, and end up turning into nightmares somewhere along the path. I don't know if this was more soothing for me or him.

Minutes later, his breathing began to slow back down to normal, before his eyes slowly flickered open, revelling the beautiful gems hidden beneath the lids. Fuck he was the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

"Lord Apollo?" He asked, sounding so pure and innocent, his curiosity outweighing his need to stay silent, "Why am I on your lap?" A soft blush tinted his slightly pale cheeks.

Much to my embarrassment, I also felt my cheeks heat, as I tried so hard to control myself. I was NOT some hormonal 14 year old, and as Percy so rightly said, he was on my lap; he would be able to feel it, which would make things so much more awkward, at least for him. Wait why am I even embarrassed? I don't get embarrassed. Oh how you affect me, my charming little sea prince.

Unsure of what to say as a response, I tried to get up, but a small hand reached up and took hold of my wrist, just slightly brushing my manhood as it did so, making my breath unexpectedly hitch, and I cursed myself for allowing me to get so attached and effected by the young demigod.

"What's the matter Percy? And you don't need to bother with the Lord" I asked, trying to figure him out without having to dig into him mind without his permission.

"Stay? Please?" He asked, his eyes wide and pleading, and I couldn't bring myself to say no, so I just smiles softly down at him and told him that I would stay, which made him look the happiest I've seen him in a long time, and it warmed my heart.

I expected him to get up and move to the other side of the sofa, but I was pleasantly surprised when he decided to stay where he was, however awkward it was for me while I still struggled to control myself. We sat like that, relaxing in each other's presence for a while, until slowly his eyes closed; his breathing slowed and evened out, as he squirmed slightly, trying to get comfortable, and yet also making it so much hard on my, as his perfect body rubbed against mine, creating delicious friction. Watching the teen, I would have sworn that he was asleep, until he turned his head to face me, his eyes open, showing his fear.

"Apollo," he started, uncertainty mixing with is fear, but I didn't rush him, this needed to be done by himself, "They're chanting. Always, no matter what is happening, as soon as the dream or memory goes bad they always start to chant."

His eyes fell shut again, as this time I truly felt into the world of dreams, but I wouldn't bring myself to move away, to leave him while he was at his most vulnerable. I will protect him, no matter what it takes!

**O:O:O:O:O**

**A/N: There you go, he's beginning to open up, but how long will it last, and are the Fates really done messing with his life? Will they confess their feeling for each other, or just drift away? If you were a demigod, who would be your godly parent? I'd have to say either Hades, Poseidon, Apollo, or Athena I think. Please review and let me know what you think, and a big thank you for everyone who had reviewed, followed or favorited. XD**

**-Ingradera**


	6. Little Comforts

**Disclaimer: I'm not American or male, so no way it could possibly be mine.**

**Warming: Slash, nightmares (not described)**

**A/N: Thank you for everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and I'm glad that you like **

**O:O:O:O:O**

Apollo

Sometime while watching Percy sleep, I found myself dropping off, glad that for once it seemed that the little hero wasn't trapped in any nightmare, and was dreaming peacefully for the first time in a while. Unlike those who are mortal, or were at least born mortal, gods don't dream, which was why I was shocked to say the least when my normal sleep morphed itself into images of a future that I would love to live.

_High up in the sky my sun chariot flew along on autopilot, its two passengers sat in the back, held in each other's arms, as they kissed slowly and passionately, welcoming the feeling of home that was brought with being in the others company. We stayed like that for what felt like hours, just cuddling and exchanging kisses here and there, until a loud knocking broke us apart, and rudely dragging my back to the real world._

Slowly I got up, being careful not to wake the teen that was now snuggling into my lap, and small smile spread across his lips. It warmed my heart to see him once again looking so young and carefree like he should, and it also pleased me that I was the one who had made him this happy, which was a thought that circled through my mind as I made my way to the door the human way. _Maybe this could work; we could work! _Opening the door, I saw the back of Poseidon, as he faced out to the sea.

"Lord Poseidon," I said in surprise as the god turned to face me, slither of worry shining through his otherwise stoic expression, "What brings you here?"

He rubbed the back on his neck, an action that Percy had the habit of doing on occasions when he was nervous or worried, before he asked me a question instead of answering mine, "How is he? Has he woken up yet?"

"Yeah he woke up about an hour or so ago, having no idea that he was asleep for the last five days, but he fell back asleep about half an hour ago."

"No nightmares?"

"None since he fell ba…"

Halfway through my sentence, I was cut off by quite whimpers coming from inside of the house, which were quickly followed by screams. Both of us froze where we were, until the begging could be heard through the whimpers and cries.

"Noo, please no! Leave me alone! Just stop please! Somebody hellllllpppp! Apollo help please! AHHHHH!" He finished screaming out, snapping me back to reality, as I quickly flashed into the living room; Poseidon hot on my heals, kneeling down next to the thrashing demigod, as I tried to calm him down.

Nothing seemed to be helping, so I got back into the spot I was sat previously, and pulled Percy to my chest, holding him tight to cut off his struggles, and began to run a hand through his hair to soothe him. To both his father's and my surprise, it worked quite quickly, as we watched as he slowly sank back into the peace that sleep can bring.

Time continued on like that for several minutes as we both sat there in silence watching to young hero while he slept, making sure the dreams stayed away.

"How come he's so relaxed around you? Lately he has began to shy away from any contact with others."

"I don't know, it might be that he was scared of people getting close, but once they were close it helped him? Honestly I have no idea since no one so far, well after the war has been able to get close to him, I have nothing to compare it against, but it may be best not to question why it works, but just to accept that it does, and hope that it will speed up his recovery, and allow him to live a normal life."

Poseidon remained quiet for a few more minutes like that, taking in the words, before he seemed to accept them, and see that it was the right thing for his son, "If you hurt him…"

Once again Percy rudely interrupted us, but thankfully this time it wasn't by a nightmare, it was by him beginning to wake up, instinctively clinging to me as he did so. A small smile appeared on my face, while Poseidon seemed slightly jealous at the fact his son felt more comfortable around me than him, but at that current moment in time, I couldn't really bring myself to care all that much, as the whole of my attention locked on Percy the second his eyes began to flutter open, and a sleepy smile found its home on his face. It appeared looking at the boy that he had yet to notice his father sat on the armchair just outside of his vision.

"Good morning," I greeted the teen, "Or rather good afternoon," I finished with a smirk playing on my lips, causing Perseus to stick his tongue out at me, and also slightly tighten his hold on my as his snuggled in, apparently unaware of what he was doing, while I once again struggled to control myself, but then again he did look adorable as he rested there in my arms.

"'Pollo?" He asked, still sounding half asleep, not noticing Poseidon's eyes widened at the fact that he had spoken willingly.

"Yes Percy?" I asked curiosity burning up inside me.

His gorgeous sea green eyes found their way to my own, entrapping me in their raw beauty, "I'm hungry." He said a smile once again, causing his eyes to dance in the light, which made me think _if that's how enchanting he looks while depressed and still slightly asleep, how would he look when he was awake, and truly happy?_

"What would you like to eat then?" I asked while untangling him from me, which caused him to blush deliciously when he realised how close we had just been.

"Anything," he answered sounding nervous, but that maybe because of what he would think I would do about him being wrapped around me.

"But obviously no seafood?" I asked, a slight amount of laughter mixing into my words, making him smile also and nod I agreement, "Oh and someone is here to see you," I said before leaving the room deciding to make the food by hand instead of just using my godly powers, so that father and son could have more time to talk.

**O:O:O:O:O**

**A/N: Thank you for reading, and for all the reviews, next chapter will be up soon, and I hope you enjoyed.**

**1) What's your favourite food?**

**Please review, follow and favourite, and thank you to everyone who already has.**

**-Ingradera**


	7. Guilt And Disappointment

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, but I'm sure you know that by now.**

**Warnings: Flashbacks slash**

**A/N: Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while, something happened, and it shook me up pretty bad I'm afraid, and I could bring myself to get out my laptop to write, but things are better now, and my internet is working again, so I'm back. Thank you for being so patient with me, and as your reward, here's the next chapter, which is dedicated to Mary, a selfless woman: who did nothing but good; who loved and cared for everyone she met; who wasn't afraid death, but in fact accepted in, knowing that it would soon be her time; who believed, and had faith in God until the end; who will always be remembered; who passed away at the ripe old age of 93. Sleep well xx**

**O:O:O:O:O**

Apollo

Once I got into the kitchen, I realised how long it had been since I had actually cooked anything, meaning the small amount of food that I did have in the house was out of date, so I guess that means I would have to go and do some shopping, unless I wanted to feed the young hero a meal that would make him sick to his stomach, or left over Chinese takeaway. Glancing down I made sure that I was presentable, and concentrated slightly, until my trousers sagged slightly, due to the extra weight of my wallet and phone, before I quickly teleported myself into a nearby town, where I knew no one would see me as I appeared, not that any normal mortal would have noticed anything out of the ordinary, but it's best to be safe.

Walking through the crowded streets, I tried my best to lessen the godly aura that radiated of any immortal, in attempt to appear normal, mortal even, thought it seemed to backfire horrendously, as those of both sex stopped for seconds to gape at me. Honestly it was unnerving, and something I would never like Percy to have to witness, though I'm not fully sure why. I had loved people before, but never in my life have I ever felt something so overpowering, so raw, so exciting, and so frightening.

Glancing up I realised that I had unconsciously walked up to the front of Bloomingdale's, and the automatic doors were parted, waiting patiently for me to enter through them, and after only a seconds though, I did so. Quickly I made my way to the food department, desperate to return to Percy, even if I did want to give him time whit his father, I was still anxious, and worried about the young hero. I stood at the bottom of an aisle, pondering what to buy, as I didn't know what he liked, and I didn't feel comfortable to dive into his mind to extract the information for my own gain. _Maybe a roast? But would that seem formal or like I'm trying too hard? I may do that for Sunday if he wished, I'll ask him later. _My thoughts continued in that fashion for several minutes, before my eyes fell onto a bag of macaroni innocently perched, silently called to be bought, and then it hit me. _Mac and cheese! _It was one of my all time favorites, other than take-out that is.

_But what if he doesn't like it? _The self-conscious portion of my mind timidly asked, just to be out raked by the cocky part, _who cares? If he doesn't then I could just order a pizza, or even Chinese._

So in the end, I found myself buying all the ingredients that would be needed, and remembering something that Poseidon has mentioned after the teen's first quest, I picked up another item, just in hope that Perseus would enjoy the dish more, before heading to the checkout, and then home to act more domestic that I had in a very long time, not noticing the woman who had her eyes trained on my throughout my shop.

**O:O:O:O:O**

Percy

I watched as Apollo made his retreat from the room, wishing that he could have stayed, and not left me alone with my da… with the sea lord, but no, he abandoned me, ripping away the feeling of safety and security that had fallen over me. Really I couldn't blame him for going, he was way out of my league for one, and he probably was disgusted at how pathetically weak I was, and was just taking care of me for pity, or some other unknown reason, which would satisfy him greatly. When the depressed feelings returned with these thoughts, I welcomed them, knowing they were just what I would need to keep my distance from the sun god, to keep me from getting attached, because those feeling only ever got people hurt in the long run, and if I did cut myself off from him and everyone, it would make it so much easier to end my life, as the guilt wouldn't be there to control my actions.

"Percy…" Poseidon stared, sounding unsure of himself, "I am here for you, you know? We all are, Apollo included, you can trust us. Please talk to us, you have no idea how much it hurts to see you so torn apart like this. Please…" He begged, trailing off slightly at the end, his worry evident in his eyes.

_How much it hurts YOU! _I found myself mentally screaming at him, not noticing his slight wince at the harsh words, which I couldn't find the energy to release, _How about how much it hurt me? You left us there to be tortured, until you thought it was a good enough time to save Annabeth, leaving me to rot. When my mom was murdered, you didn't even raise a hand to help, you didn't care in the slightest, just let it happen. Same with Annabeth, the only girl I loved. It would have took no effort for you to save them, and the Second Titan War would have been a walk in the park if you all hadn't abandoned your children to grow up alone and feeling as though there godly parent didn't give a fuck about them. But no!_

_No you all had to follow Zeus idiotic rules, and stayed away. You royally fucking up your future there. There was so much you could have done, and then everything would be fine. Then Luke would still be alive, and so would Annabeth and mom. But no, you're gods, and you only do what's best for you, and you always will._

Once my internal rage had completed I found myself drained, and exhausted, despite the fact that I had already had hours more sleep that what was probably healthy over the last few days, and I almost missed the muttered words from the king beside me, "You loved him didn't you?"

Confusion washed over me and I couldn't stop the curiosity before it pushed the words out of my lips, "Loved who?"

"Luke. You loved Luke. That's what pulled you and Annabeth together, the shared love of the one who betrayed you. That's why you're so mad that we didn't do enough for our children. I always wondered if that was the case," The god replied, sounding slightly sheepish.

My eyes widened as I realised what he has done, and no matter how hard I fought, I couldn't hold back the wave of betrayal that fell over me, but I should have seen it coming, the gods getting so tired of my lack of replies, that they go digging for them instead, but none the less it also cut me deep, fuelling the deep rooted depression, which was making a comeback. For just a few short moments, guilt flashed across Poseidon's face, before it soon vanished, just as he did after a mumbled farewell, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was glad he was gone, it then gave me time to release this pain before Apollo returned, as I was sure he was still out.

Quietly, I pushed myself off of the couch, before slowly plodding towards the kitchen, pausing slightly outside just to make sure the god was elsewhere; I was in luck, it was empty. Quickly, I made my way to the knives, which were so neatly presented, hanging from the over head cupboards, just waiting to be used. One seemed to be shining more than the others, its long, thin blade, which cut my finger if the slightest ounce of pressure was applied. It was perfect.

Just as I had the blade down, and tucked into my jeans for later use, a slightly familiar voice broke through the house.

"Apollo? You here sunshine?"

A mop of black hair appeared behind the door, belonging to a once confident god, who now just seemed slightly shy, but that's what happens when you get waken up by a demigod held tightly by the clutches of a nightmare, screaming out your son's name, as he tries to rescue him in the dream world. Well it is one way to find out that your temporary ward loved your favorite child.

"Oh urm, hi Percy," Hermes greeted me, and I found myself wondering, _he's a god, so why is he feeling nervous and awkward?_

I ignored as I edged past him, and back into the living room, relishing the feeling of the blade slightly cutting into my thigh, drawing a small amount of blood as it do so. Once back in the room, I climbed back onto the couch, curling up into a tight ball when sat comfortably, hiding my face and the small, yet gradually growing stain of red on my pale blue trousers.

_Next time I'll wear black, then it's harder for the blood to be seen,_ I thought to myself.

Seconds turned into minuets as the silence dragged on, or at least I think it was silent, as I didn't really care to listen to anything that this god had to say; it's his fault Luke is dead, his fault that I'll never see my first love again, or not until I too die, then I'll be reunited with everyone I've ever loved. It just means leaving Apollo, but he's a god, even if there was something there, it wouldn't last. Nothing ever does.

Movement couch my eyes, as the messenger god rose gracefully from where he was sat, before making his way into the kitchen once more. I stayed where I was laid, unwilling to order my body to move, unwilling to face the world that hurts people time and time again, until they are beyond the point of repair, not stopping to spare a thought about the consequences of its actions.

Time continued on, and the pain grew as the blade made its way deeper into my leg, causing me to bite down hard on my arm to stop any sounds of pain that might somehow make their way out of my mouth, but the attempt seemed to be for nothing, as Apollo soon came through the doors, worry delicately tainting his beautiful features, as he cast his eyes across my body, stopping at the patch of crimson. Sapphire blue eyes met with my own dull pare of sea green, and in those brief seconds, I could clearly see his concern; his pain; his disappointment.

"Percy…" He whispered in such a heartbroken tone.

_Fuck, _I thought as guilt engulfed me, _What have I done? _

**O:O:O:O:O**

**A/N: Well there you have it, I hope you enjoyed, and I'm sorry once again for the lack of update, forgive me? Anyway, please review and let me know what you think, constructive criticism welcome, as then it helps me make it better. :) I shall try to update this again soon, but I have a few exams/tests coming up soon, and I'm going to try something new, revising, but I'll try to get a new chapter up at least once a week if I can.**

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, and thank you **chica-sabia-nabepi11 **and **Guest **who answered the question on the last chappy. The last chapter got 3 reviews, so can we try for at least 6 this time?**

**-Ingradera**


	8. Drowning

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything PJO or HoO *sulks***

**Warnings: Slash, flashbacks, gory torture, m/m rape**

**A/N: Sorry for such a long gap between updates, had a case of writers block, but I'm back now. Enjoy!**

**Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, there's nothing better than reading all of your beautiful reviews.**

ChrysonArgentum**- Thank you for such a great review, and I'm glad you like it, and more answers should be popping up soon I hope. Thank you again :)**

Jenyla**- *throws Chinese food* enjoy :D **

Kitsune Twins**- Thank you for your honesty, I shall try to fix that.**

zaingoddess**- Here you go, sorry for making you wait, and I hope you enjoy this chapter too, sorry beforehand though, there's another cliff-hanger.**

hana97**-**** As would I, as would I**

Nicole**- Thank you I'm so happy you enjoy it so much here's the next update, and hopefully you shall have another next week too.**

Sliver wolf**- Thank you so much, it really made my day to see that you had put up two, and I may be mean, but I'm not that mean, Percy shall get better… Maybe… Here's your update, a bit late, but please forgive me.**

percyROCKS4evr**- I'm so happy that you like it, and I shall try to make it more original.**

xXSarcasticAngelXx**- Thank you so much for the double review, and the answer to the question, and I'm glad you feel sad for Percy, that means the chapter worked.**

**O:O:O:O:O**

Percy

_What have I done?_ The words swam through my head, as an intense wave of guilt washed over me, while I lowered my eyes from the god. A warm hand touched above the self inflicted wound, sending a shiver through my spine, as I felt the skin reattach beneath my jeans. Without being asked I removed the blade and handed it over handle first, being careful not to slice my palm while I did so. Briefly, I raised my eyes to meet his, just to find him staring intently at the blood stain on my trousers, though the disappointment was clearly visible, and was that love that shone through also?

"Percy…" Apollo started as he climbed to his feat, his eyes meting mine for a short second, before he turned away, but it was long enough for me to catch the pain they held, "Dinner shall be ready shortly Perseus. Do what you want until then." With that he walked away, causing me to question my actions once more.

My head lowered into my hands as it rested there, with my legs pulled up against my chest, and I remained like that for many minutes, as tears ran untamed down my cheeks, staining them and my clothes in the process. For many moments I remained like, until I forced myself up, and my mask to return, before slowly making my way across to the French windows, which stood to the left of the room. Each step I took sent phantom pains shooting through my body from one of my many scars, but I pushed it aside, I would worry about that later, or when it became too much to bear, thought that hadn't happened since I had escaped from Tartarus, with no help from the gods may I add.

Staring across at me from outside the confinements of the house, stood a clean outdoor pool, which was almost as large as a football pitch, maybe larger, and it just seemed to be calling me towards it, so without a second thought, I opened the window and climbed out. Slowly I edged towards the pool, forcing aside all memories which tried to send me back. Looking down at my clothing, I noticed that the blood had spread up my trousers, and had been passed onto my top also, so I quickly striped from my jeans and tee, so not to taint the water, where I noticed the red liquid had also spread to the bottom of my boxers, so I quickly peeled them off also, thankful for the darkness which was clinging to this corner of the house, and the fact that Apollo was elsewhere, thought I wondered if I was really that bothered if the sun god was to see me naked. With that thought I felt myself begin to harden, as my cheeks heated up from the blush which was rapidly making its way across them. In attempt to lessen my embarrassment, I slipped into the water.

Gods did it feel good to be back in my element, this even beats being in the ocean, even if the salt water is meant to make me feel better, feel safe. I dove to the bottom of the deep pool at full speed and just sat there and allowed my mind to wander as it so wished.

_You found your sweet oblivion shattered, as frozen water was thrown over you, waking you instantly. Reminders of the pain you felt during your host's last visit suddenly flared up inside you, clouding your vision for mere moments, and you feel unconsciousness float towards you once more, until it faded into a memory, and you realises that it woke you up to a fate, which would be ten times worse than death. Standing proud above you is the nameless torture who refuses to leave you be for longer that a few hours, or days, you had long since forgotten, as all sense of time had blurred together a long time prior. Before you could fully acquire your bearings, two rough, calloused hands grabbed you under the armpits, pulling you unceremoniously to your feat, where they then proceeded to direct you to the blood stained medical table, which stood in the dead centre of the room, though since your legs refused point blank to support you weight, they ended up dragging you, not caring what sort of damage they would do to your beaten and broken body.. Gods you wished they would let you die already!_

_Sometime during your rough treatment, your vision began to swim once more, causing you to miss them strapping you securely to the cold metal, or when they cut off your tattered clothes, which were already hanging in ribbons to begin with. Why were you finding it so hard to concentrate? Yet again you found yourself zoning out, only returning when a sharp pain sliced through your calf, followed quickly by the calming feel of saltwater running over your dried out, blood encrusted skin, healing the cause of the pain. Again the pain sliced through you, causing you to grit your teeth together, and you would have cried out if you hand the energy to do so, thought you did have a strong enough connection to reality this time to realise the pain was coming from a sharp silver blade, which was being sliced through your thigh, before it was healed, making sure you wouldn't die from the blood loss. By the third cut you had discovered that your blood wasn't just being spilled for their sadistic pleasure, but they were collecting it also. _

_Darkness licked at the edges of your vision, calling in whispers for you to join it in the ignorance of sleep, which seemed like the most enjoyably option at this point, but some malicious force was keeping you strung to this world or pure agony. Suspicious thoughts began to gang up on you once they the unnamed sadist stopped treating you as though you were a mere piece of meat on a chopping board, and you feel your body tense up the best it could in your current exhausted state, before you were even able to issue the command for it to do so._

_Out of the corner of your eye, you catch the smallest glimpse of a figure walking at the edge of the room, guarding the door, you realise, internally smiling at the fact they think so high of you, at not just underestimating you at every turn, though that would make it harder to escape. Suddenly to your other side the psychopath appears once more, though this time carrying a see-through bottle, which from your position seemed to be made from plastic, not glass, filled to the brim in some crimson liquid, that you recognised almost instantaneously as your blood. Once beside you, a dirty rag was laid over the bottom half of your face, confusing you, though that feeling was quickly evaporated once drops of your blood began to dribble out of the contained, splashing on the cloth, some ricocheting onto other parts of your face too. At first the feeling isn't that uncomfortable, but quickly that changes once the amount of blood being escaping increases, gradually making it harder for you to breath. _So this is what drowning fells like, _some part of your mind thought, oblivious to the way your lungs are now screaming for oxygen, while your brain slowly begins to shut down. Yet again you feel the liquid increase, cutting off any chance of claiming some of the vital air, which you had always took for granted before._

"Percy! Perseus! Wake up! Come on breath already, stay with me you stupid hero!"

_Seconds before your world turned black, the material was removed, causing you to gasp helplessly, trying to draw in as much air as you could manage, while coughing up the liquid which had found its way into your lungs. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a warm glowing light, though it appeared that it was only you who could see it. You tried to speak, to beg for whoever it was to help you, but you couldn't find the strength for such a task, so you attempted to say the message with your eyes instead. While you were distracted, your legs were released from their restraints, but were quickly reattached in ones which were further up the bed, making your knees bend and your bottom to be slightly raised from the cold, wet metal._

_Silently, the torturer climbed onto the table behind you, placing his hands on your hip to raise your bottom off the table. You noticed that his trousers and boxers were hanging down around his legs, allowing his member to stand free, pointing towards you, allowing you to guess what was going to happen next. As soon as this realisation hit you, you quickly turned away, choosing instead to stare at the light beside you, as you tensed up, expecting the pain. Suddenly, an intense ripped through you, as he pushed himself deep inside, not spending anytime preparing you, or anytime allowing you to get used to the unwelcome intrusion. The pain was more intense than anything you had ever felt in your life, though hidden behind it you could feel a small sense of pleasure, which just as the pain did, increased as he began to move, pulling out nearly all the way, before thrusting back inside. Boiling tears burned your eyes, as you felt them flutter close, and unconsciousness claimed you once more._

Quickly my eyes flew open, as the darted around the darkened, before I rolled over, coughing up water. Upon noticing this I looked towards Apollo, who was sat beside me, worry tainting his beautiful sapphire eyes. Once again I found that my vocal cords refused to work, so I tried to ask him the question through my mind, thought that just caused him to sigh.

"Percy, I'm not just going to invade your mind, no matter how much you want me to, but I'm guessing you want to know what happened?" He asked, shocking me with his answer, as I slowly nodded my head in agreement. Again he sighed, running a hand through his perfectly sculptured hair, "Percy," He started before pausing to get his thoughts in order, "You drowned."

Shock filled me once again as I replayed those words again and again, but then I remembered the flashback; the last time I drowned, and I found myself shaking, but not from the cold air that was circling around me, but from the fear that even my home turf could kill me. Tears once again leaked from my eyes as I looked down, ashamed of my own weakness. Warm arms snaked around me, holding my to Apollo's chest as I lay there, crying hard as he whispered calming words into my ear. Once I had calmed down, I realised how relaxing it truly was to just be held like this in to sun god's arms, no matter if I was naked or not. _Wait, naked? _ I thought to myself, before quickly glancing down, remembering that I took my clothes off before getting into the pool. Again my face warmed as a fierce blush spread across my face and embarrassment rolled off me in waves.

Curiosity crossed the god's face, before he realised the cause for my embarrassment, making him laugh before clicking his fingers clothing me in a pair of dark jeans, and a white tee-shirt, both of which would have fitted me perfectly before the war, but now they hung loose, only gently hugging my body, though as good as the outfit was, it seemed to be lacking in the underwear department.

"Well come on then, you dinner is getting cold," Apollo said before helping me to get up from the floor, worry still clear in his voice.

Once on my feet I looked up, noticing that I was stood against the god's chest and he was looking down at me, a blush delicately colouring his cheeks, and before I knew what happened, my mind took over, as I pushed up on to my tiptoes, raising my lips to Apollo's, surprised that he was lowering his to mine at the same time. His arms found their way around my waist, but not to support me this time, but to hold me to him, while my reached up, tangling themselves in his silky soft hair, pulling him closer to me as our lips met, gently at first, but quickly deepening in, pouring all feelings into it, my love, my fear, my depression, my everything. A polite yet humours cough sounded somewhere to my right, causing me to push Apollo away, once again red with embarrassment.

**O:O:O:O:O**

**A/N: There you go an update at last :) I shall try to update more often with less long breaks, but no promises. Anyway please review and let me know what you think.**

**Who do you think the intruder was? The next chapter shall be dedicated to whoever is first to guess right. Last chapter got 9 reviews, so let's try and get ten before I next upload?**

**Bye for now **

**Ingradera**


	9. Dinner For Three

**Disclaimer: Though I want to say**

**That Percy Jackson is mine**

**It would be a lie**

**Warnings: Slash, flashback (a slash one, not a torture one)**

**A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating for so long, my laptop is broken so I can only write on the family computer, but I rarely get any time online, I'm so sorry. Thank you to all of you who reviewed, and for answering the question, but unfortunately those who answered with Triton, Poseidon, Artemis and Aphrodite were wrong, though they shall be in at some point. **

**To **acirejacksonmellark57, selena4745, PercyJacksonROCKS4ever, meriland25, pongochic2, fantomfaire, chica-sabia-nabepill, Guest , xXSarcasticAngelXx, mj, Guest, HopeReincarnated, Guest, Cols12broncos18, kitkatMoon, hana97, Guest, Elandil, My Sweet Oblivion, crazychick444, Silver wolf, GrimmjowYuoi, LizDilaurentis** (Pretty Little Liers?), and **Fallen Angel 1234**, thank you all of you, each review managed to bring a smile to my face, you're all amazing. :) x**

**Anyway on to the chapter, a longer one this time, so please enjoy. **

**O:O:O:O:O**

Quickly I pulled away from the god, who was holding me so protectively in his arms, a cheeky grin slowly spreading across his perfectly sculptured lips, before his eyes flickered down to me as I found myself ungracefully falling to the slippery ground of the pool edge. Seconds prior to my inevitable meeting with the floor, a different pair of arms snaked their way around my waist carefully pulling me to my feet, but as soon as I found myself stable once more the hands were retracted. Glancing up into Apollo's bright blue eyes, I saw a wide array of emotion flitting through them and it was so unexpected that for a few short moments that I was almost certain that I had imagined it. Worry, love, and jealousy swam together in the gorgeous blue pools, creating the most confusing, yet enchanting cocktail.

"Be careful now little hero, we don't want you hurting yourself do we?" Whispered the person behind me, causing the heat to rise to my face, not just because hurting myself was the only thing I had been doing for the last few weeks, maybe even months, but also because that voice reminded me of the first one who had stolen and then later crushed my heart: Luke.

Being careful not to slip again, I slowly turned to face the godly entity that stood a few inches behind me and I froze as soon as I caught sight of him. He was almost identical to my old friend, their hair and age being the only differences. It was Hermes. _I thought he had left_, I thought to myself as I shut down any emotion that was visible, once more closing myself off to the world. A near silence sigh came from behind me, causing me to stiffen, apparently quite visibly, making Apollo sigh once more at the same volume, though this time the trickster god joined him.

Hermes coughed nervously as the tension gradually grew, "So then, should we go in and eat before the food that Apollo so lovingly made gets cold?"

Once his rushed words had escaped, he quickly fled from the room, possibly slightly put out by the slight feeling of awkwardness that was rising in the air. By using my limited skills in acting, I schooled my expression to stay neutral instead of empty as a heated body slowly made its way so that it was only around a millimetre away from me, warming me and making my heart flutter nervously in my chest.

"Come on Perseus," the musical voice said from behind, making my breathing speed alongside my pulse, despite how much I despised my true name, upon his tong it sounded magical and enchanting somehow, "I hope you enjoy macaroni and cheese."

Though my body willed me to turn and thank him for cooking one of my favourite meal for me, I realised that it would mean that I'd be getting closer to him, which was something that I would love to do, except in doing so would ultimately end with me once again hurt and even more broken-hearted than I already was. We walked in silence back into the kitchen, which unlike before it was filled with a heavenly aroma that caused bile to rise in my throat because of the cruel images of my past, which were still flashing in the back of my mind. Naturally Hermes had beaten us to the overly larger, bright room and he had already began to set the table, which sat in the centre of an adjoining room that, from my view-point of just in front of the door, looked large enough to seat all of the Olympians comfortably.

"Help me with the drinks?"

Apollo's voice broke me from my inner musing as I started towards the god, missing how Hermes walked past balancing three plates as he went. Standing next to the sun, I took hold of the glasses which were passed to me and I began to fill them with near ice cold water as I was instructed. Once every glass was full, the god of medicine took two from the counter and silently led me into the dining room. My eyes remained glued to the ground as I walked; only raising them after I had placed my glass onto the table and I finally noticed the blue food that decorated it.

Unfortunately, with that image flashbacks clouded my vision once more.

_"Happy birthday Percy!"_

_The shout came from my previously closed door, as my mom and Paul burst into the room, shocking me awake. Soft linen draped itself over the naked, abused skin of my behind, covering both me and my modesty as I snuggled closer to the heat source which had curled around me, hugging me protectively close. Sinking deeper into the bedding to hide my embarrassment, I looked towards the mortal couple, who looked to be in a mix of shock and discomfort._

_"Well then," Paul started awkwardly, "Get yourselves cleaned up and then come downstairs so that we can talk about this, whatever it is."_

_After those words they quickly made their retreat, leaving us to deal with ourselves. I manoeuvred myself so that I was facing my older lover and gave him a quick kiss upon his lips, or at least it was meant to be quick, but somewhere between last night's activities and now, I had forgotten how truly addictive my love could be. Whilst giving permission for the blond's tong to enter my mouth, I turned once more, though this time I brought my love with me, so that the muscular body was pressing me into the mattress, removing almost all control of this situation from my hands. A muffled moan escaped from my lips as a morning erection pressed itself against my own._

_Before I could do anything about it, the lips were removed from my own and the body gracefully rolled from the bed and onto his feet, looking down on my panting form with a almost predatorily glint in his eyes and his normal mischievous smirk spread across his face, as he knew how much he had just worked me up and risen my hopes._

_"Not now Percy," he scolded in an almost purr, "It may be your birthday, but your parents want you to cum downstairs."_

_When he said come I could tell from his tone and how his gorgeous blue eyes sparkled that he and my parents were thinking about two totally different things._

_"Fine" I said sulking, ignoring his true intentions behind the words, "I am going to take a shower since I'm still covered with your cum and I expect you presentable when I return."_

_With that I stood and moved towards the door, adding an extra sway in my step as I went. The second the bathroom door was closed behind me I look to my reflection in the full length mirror, which was almost directly opposite me. When I looked closely I notice one thing. I looked a mess._

_Cum had dried across my stomach and down my legs from where it landed last night; hickeys had formed across my shoulders, thighs and neck; bruises shone from my waist. Quickly I removed my gaze from the mirror as I stumbled into the shower, closing the tinted glass door behind me prior to turning the water on and relaxing under the soon burning liquid. Even if I had wanted to, I was unable to say just how long I stood under the water, welcoming the comfort as well as safety that it provided as feelings of worry entwined with those of doubt slowly ebbed away, taking all evidence of the previous night that could be washed away with it. Finally, I shut off the stream and willed myself dry as I made my way back to my room, unsure of how I would act around my love, but in the end the lingering feelings of unease won._

_Storming through the doorway, I ignored the teen who was sat obediently at the edge of my bed as I dressed myself in: a clean pair of pale blue boxer shorts, that had pictures of fishes swimming across them; the dark blue skinny jeans which I had worn the day before; a white t-shirt with a large black Pegasus printed across the front. Arms encircled my waist from behind before they pulled me back carefully, so that he was pushed up against me, his breath ghosted past my ear lobe as he muttered, "Why do we have to fight my prince?"_

_Yet again I span around to face him, seeing the raw emotion in his eyes as my arms reached up to wrap around his neck, my fingers running through his golden locks, as I pulled his head down so that our foreheads were able to rest against together, "Because, my thief, you chose to be on their side."_

_"I'm sorry, but it's what I believe is best."_

_"I know and I wouldn't want to change that at all, because that would mean changing you," I explained, finishing with a quick, yet deep kiss._

_Love and lust shone through his eyes as they bore into me, causing pride to flutter from inside my heart as I realised that it was me who had brought these emotions out of him and even though I didn't want to change him, I still wished that he would change his mind on his own, so that when the inevitable combat was to unfold, we would not meat sword to scythe on the battlefield, where only one would walk away alive._

_"Hey Percy, don't think of that now. I love you my beautiful sea prince."_

_Hope clearly shone in my eyes as I moved closer, keeping his gaze lock with my own, while I whispered the most truthful words I had ever allowed past my lips, "And I love you my handsome thief."_

Slowly I found myself returning to the conscious realm and I realised that once again I was being held in Apollo's arms where both Hermes and he were staring down at me, their faces showing confusion and worry once again dancing together.

"You know they say that it helps if you talk about it," Hermes suggested in an attempt to be helpful, but if I was to tell anyone, then it most defiantly wouldn't be him, due to the fact that, that one memory was based on his son.

Off to my right, Apollo chuckled, before pausing momentarily to inform his half-brother of how incorrect he was by pointing out my blush. Luckily then the both dropped the subject and we ate in relative silence and I was quite surprised to see myself actually eating instead of just moving the food around my plate. The peace was only broken by brief conversation, until the messenger god excused himself to run some errands.

Casting a quick glance across the table the poetry god shrugged before climbing to his feet and offering his hand out to me, which I took after only a moment's hesitation. Together we went into the living room, where I noticed that there was one theme, which seemed to be constantly appearing through this place, and that was that it was too large for its own good. Just like earlier today we sat down together on the large couch facing to TV and only touching when our arms brushed past each other's and by our still clasped hands.

"Anything you want to watch?" Apollo asked while reaching for the remote, still not looking at me, though I could see a slight touch of crimson dusting his face.

Nothing I could think of at that second so I showed him that with a slight shake of my head, so he just flip through the channels until my hand tighten around his and a smile spread across my face as I recognised the show and episode

"The Doctor Dances," I muttered.

With shock passing across his face, Apollo turned to face me before a breathtaking grin spreading itself across his slightly tanned skin before he began to chuckle, "I never knew you liked Doctor Who, or ever were a big fan," he commented, pointing out the fact that I knew the name without a seconds thought. He shifted slightly so that he was facing me properly a charming smile spread across his face, "It's kind of cute, sea prince."

Against my will, I felt myself stiffening at the old nickname.

"What's the matter?" He asked, concern seeping into his words.

In seeking comfort, I moved closer to him so that I was almost sat on his lap, his arms wrapping securely around my waist, protection me almost.

"He used to call me that," I whispered into his neck.

"Who?"

"Luke," I choked out and soon followed by telling him everything that was involved in my flashback, and everything about our relationship, _if it could've been called that_, the depressing though slid through my brain. During my verbal walk down memory lane, I found myself leading more into Apollo with each word spoken, welcoming the comfort and protection that it seemed to provide.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," he mumbled, unconsciously pulling my closer as a hand reached up to push a lock of my hair out of my face, his hand lingering there longer than required, "Do you know why you are here Percy?"

Confusion filled my face as I raised my eyes to meet with his, "How do you mean? Why I am here with you, or why I'm being passed around like a popsicle on a hot Summers day."

"The latter."

"Because Zeus doesn't want to make me a god while I'm broken, because then it makes them, or even you, look bad in some way?" I asked uncertainly.

A brief yet sombre smile passed his face before he shifted slightly so that he was holding me closer, "Believe it or not, but my old man does actually have a heart, though unfortunately it doesn't show its face all that regularly. He cares about you, more that he would like to admit, you're strong; powerful, or at least you were. I'll let you into a little secret Percy, regardless of your mental health, on your 18th birthday you shall become a god, and the only reason we're trying to help you and why we are waiting, is for you. None of us want to see you like this. Whereas you may thing that we are being forced into looking after you, because as hard as it is to say, you have nowhere else to go where you are welcomed, that is not the case. We all volunteered."

Even though I could feel the sincerity dripping like blood from each word, I still couldn't accept what he was saying to be true, as the part of me that hadn't existed before Tartarus, was constantly whispering to me that no one would ever care for me, or want to do anything for me. Other than deliver pain or heartache that is.

Then, abruptly, I felt my eyes beginning to drop, exhausted from all the emotion which had passed through me, though as the last words of the episode sounded, I still found the energy to blush as I though back once more, to when I almost in the same position that Jack was.

"I'm sure Rose, in fact I'm absolutely certain, but who with?" The Doctor asked before pulling his companion towards him.

Apollo rose, offering me a hand as he did so, asking much like The Doctor had only moments previously, "May I have this dance?"

Rising a suspicion eyebrow, I was met with a charming, yet mischievous grin and thinking nothing bad will come of it, I took his hand just like before. When in his arms we waltzed together, until the fatigue hit me once more, making me yawn widely, as though I was seven again.

"Sleepy Perce?"

My only response was a short nod while I reached up to rub my eyes.

"Cute." Apollo commented, before starting to lead me away by a hand that remained in his grasp, "Come on, let's get you to bed."

For several seconds we walked in silence, until we reach the room that I had woken up in originally. Without any hint of thought, the son god began to help me undress after I struggled with the fabrics that clung to my person, though I stopped him when he reached for my jeans.

"No," I mumbled embarrassed, continuing to explain when I noticed his confusion, "You forgot underwear."

Giving a sheepish laugh he clicked his fingers, replacing the jeans with comfortable pyjamas pants, which were decorated with small fishes. After that he pulled down the covers allowing me to crawl under them, though I paused half way through doing so, looking up at him, "Halimeda?"

"Thinking of the sea?**(That's what a few name meaning websites say, so I apologise if it is wrong.)**"

"No..." I paused slightly, my embarrassment clear, "She's my teddy."

A smile graced his features, though it wasn't one of a condescending nature, "In your bag?" He asked, motioning to the duffle back that was sat against the same wall as the door, receiving a nod in response.

Gracefully he ambled across to the bag, bending at the knees to pull back the zip and almost immediately a plush Squirtle toy bopped out. Smiling once more the music god picked the half a meter toy and brought it across to me and passing it to me, where I hugged it close the second it was in my arms, releasing a contempt sigh. For a brief second I wondered why he had my bag as I hadn't seen it since I was staying with Hypnos, where I was too self-conscious to bring her out, though in the end I decided to leave that question for another day.

"A Squirtle with a Greek name related to the sea, it's cute. Who made it?"

Looking up I met his eyes, allowing my sorrow to show, "My mother made her for me mere days before Gabe," with that name I felt myself shiver involuntary as memories flashed before my eyes, "Moved in with us. After that she didn't have any more times, she was too busy with work or Gabe so after that on the times I had a chance I started making my own until I had made almost all of the water types. Unfortunately after my mother was killed, the apartment went up in flames, leaving me only with the items and clothes that I kept at camp. I lost all but Halimeda."

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly, "Do you mind if I sleep here also?" He asked changing the subject rather abruptly.

Confusions swam across my face.

"There is only one other bedroom and it isn't in a state to sleep in as of yet I'm afraid."

Nodding slightly I shuffled to the other side of the bed so that he could get in and sleep comfortably. While he was climbing in by my side he muttered his thanks, sounding more genuine that anyone that I had heard in a long time. Sleep clawed at the edges of my vision and I felt my consciousness retreat to the realm of Hypnos, where Morpheus would then decide to be merciful or harsh in delivering the dreams.

Closing my eyes for a second I saw Halimeda laying across the bed from me, in the half that I had previously occupied. Glancing upwards, I noticed how I had substituted Apollo's chest as my pillow at some point and that he had wrapped his left arm around us both, while his right was trapped within my hair, as though at one point he was running his fingers through it. With my right hand I reached across to place it above where his heart was positioned under the skin and I tried something that I had learnt while in Tartarus. I listened to the song that the water within his body sang, falling in love with every note.

Just before I closed my eyes once more, I tilted my head up slightly so that our lips brushed each others, before I placed a gentle kiss upon them.

O:O:O:O:O

Apollo

For many hours I laid there watching the young beauty beside me and I almost laugh as one word left his lips as he freed the teddy and rolled over, only to curl up, laying half on my chest, where I wrapped him protectively in my arms, holding him close.

"Cold," he mumbled sleepily

After only a few short minuets he slowly opened his eyes once more, causing my hand, which had been previously combing through his hair, to halt and my eyes to close before he could realise that I was awake, just in case he would shy away. At first nothing happened, but as seconds passed, his hand moved to above of my heart, making my breath catch in my throat slightly for some alien reason.

By just a fraction, my eyes opened, so that I was gazing down at the prince through my lashes until he shifted his weight slightly as his lips rose, so that they first brushed and then pressed themselves upon my own, presenting me with the softest kiss I had ever felt and with that small action, I saw that there was still hope for us.

**O:O:O:O:O**

**A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed, please, please, please review and let me know what you thing?**

**Today's question, the next chapter is going to begin with a dream, so who's dream is it and what is the dream about, if you guess right then if you wish I will send you the dream before the chapter is up, but only if you have an account I'm afraid and I'll pm you if you guess right.**

**Until next time,**

**Ingradera**


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